Nitpicking, nitpicking

As it's no longer the first rehearsal of this half of the season, the chronic nitpicking has begun in my full orchestral ensemble. My friend, who is a first violin there, missed rehearsal last night as she was at the Secret Policeman's Ball in NYC the night before (or something like that). I said (as I've done this before) that I would live-blog her the rehearsal, so she would get a taste of what she was missing.
I didn't actually finish it, as I gave up halfway through and just got generally irritated, but I did it for the most part. I'm going to post it, just because I think it makes a good kind of filler post so my blog isn't as dead as it was for the last two weeks or so. I would ordinarily worry about whether a college or conservatory would see this, but I think any orchestral musician has been driven mad by conductors enough times to understand.
Here goes:

• 2/3 oboes. Again.
• Played the A. Nobody tuned.
• Awkward.
• And the nitpicking begins.
• Restart Rienzi.
• Re-restart Rienzi.
• Picking at intonation.
• Stop.
• Lecture.
• Restart.
• Wws [woodwinds] played in cut time accidentally.
• Myself included.
• Stop.
• Lecture about practicing.
• Restart.
• Stop.
• Lecture about tone.
• "Anaemic"
• Strings only.
• Yes, he said our tone was "anaemic".
• Lecture on dynamics.
• Tutti.
• Stop.
• Lecture on dynamics.
• Stop.
• Percussion nitpick.
• Stop.
• Lecture on interpretation.
• Horns are giggly.
• Trumpets are apathetic.
• Stop.
• Percussion nitpick.
• Stop.
• Woodwinds.
• Stop.
• Strings.
• Tutti.
• Stop.
• Brass nitpick.
• Condescension from the trumpets to the conductor.
• Points go to Sophie's brother.
• Trumpets got kinda sassy.
• Horn nitpick.
• Stop.

At that point I gave up. I stopped sometime between a half hour and 45 minutes into rehearsal (my iPhone doesn't tell me exactly), and this kept going well into the second hour. I'd say more, but I think this speaks for itself.

Let me note, however, that I didn't get to mark down each and every stop and start. There were many, many more.

And people wonder why I'm so often in a bad mood.