A Daily Dose of Peculiar People

Really, though, this makes me want to play brass.
Sorry, double reeds. Just prove to me we can have this much fun, too.
And be this weird.
And brilliant.

This is the kind of ... oddness that I found with my lesson with Robert Sheena. (If you're reading this, I mean that in the best way possible. Really.) And it's precisely what makes my dream to play with these guys.
I wonder if the NY Phil has this much fun.

Cynicism, est. Birth

I really need to stop thinking so much; there's no way it's good for me.
What I was thinking about today, however, was my mom's suggestion for me to double major in journalism and music and become a music critic as a backup. And, whilst thinking, suddenly it didn't seem so outrageous after all.
One story my mother absolutely adores telling - one of many - is how, as an infant, when a particular violinist we know* would play, instantaneously smiling baby me would go to screaming, crying, baby me. Keep in mind, she was not the best player. Then, at my grandmother's funeral a few years later (I think I was around two years old, possibly three, I don't exactly remember), a singer performed "Ave Maria", and apparently did it well: from the audience came a small, "Again!" courtesy of, well, me.
She finds it funny that I've been a music critic, though not a very refined or subtle one, since I was barely walking.
I think it would be rather cool: my job is to go to concerts, and when I make comments on how I think it went, people (theoretically) actually give a damn. Assuming I do well in the profession, anyway.
My first and most ideal career would still be - and is - music performance. I don't think that a backup wouldn't be a bad idea, however; this one also works in tandem with studying music, more so than previous thoughts of geology or astrophysics. (I still think they're awesome, though, don't get me wrong. I read Scientific American and National Geographic just like the other nerds next door.)
Still no word on the Pre-College, for those of you wondering. Everyone around me is thinking optimistically, and it's becoming extraordinarily difficult for me to not get my hopes up, as much as I desperately want (and need) to.

*they shall remain anonymous for the protection of their pride

An Experiment

As anyone who's been to a concert an has not coughed knows, the audience always coughs - and it's more than slightly annoying. (Not maybe as annoying as clapping between movements or photographers with obnoxiously loud shutters snapping photos constantly, both of which I experienced today. But, still.) I thought of a hypothesis during the concert I saw today. As the good science student I also am, I decided to come up with a type-written experiment, even though I can't actually execute it.
The concert featured Branford Marsalis, and it was incredible. Just for the record.
But, the experiment:

Hypothesis: It is only a few audience members that create the coughing that distracts and annoys performers and audience members alike.

Materials:

• Orchestra (with conductor and full program)
• A suitably grey-haired audience
• Concert hall (large preferred for large audience size)
• Several ushers
• Pencil
• Paper
• Counter device (optional)
• Cough drops (several dozen)
• Funds for refunds that will inevitably be demanded

Procedure:

1. Commence concert as typical.
2. When an audience member coughs, escort them from the hall and provide them with cough drops. Provide refund if demanded. Do not permit them to reenter the hall.
3. For the duration of the concert repeat step 2.
4. Calculate percentage of patrons who were removed from the concert out of the total. If a small amount, hypothesis is likely correct.

Being as I can't exactly do this, I have no actual data. In the meantime, I'm just going to assume I'm correct, and will glare in the direction of the assumed few who cough during the Adagio.

Rambling, Most Likely Uninteresting to Anyone With More of a Life than Me

While I'm working on the "Reedmaking for the Non-Oboist", I'd ordinarily like to post funny musical anecdotes just to keep this thing alive, or at least showing minimal life signs.
Clearly, that isn't happening.
I'm willing to blame the lack of anything remotely interesting (or, funny) happening on the fact that two weeks of AP exams just concluded, AND every single performance group has concluded its season, and so I have absolutely no rehearsals to go to anymore. On a note, though, I received a 100 on both of my NYSSMA auditions. Hopefully, I'll be blogging from Rochester again(!). Maybe this time I'll have people that I know to dodge the parties with, rather than just my lonely self. I swear, I'm not that much of a loser. ... Kind of.
Tomorrow's my Juilliard Pre-College audition, theoretically at 11 AM, though maybe not theoretically. Unlike some places, I figure these auditions will be more likely to be on time. Hopefully I'll have some self-depreciating (but funny, to all of you sadists) comments about how the audition went. Or, maybe, I'll have some decent stuff to say about myself and my performance. Meh. It's also my tuba-playing friend's senior recital, but I'll refrain from concert reviews because I know I can be harsh. (I don't try to be, though.)
Speaking of reviews, that brings up an interesting thing I've been thinking about. My mother, most conveniently, has been suggesting numerous double majors that I could consider that wouldn't be completely irrelevant to my music performance major. (I'm already set on that one.) Since I have an almost unhealthy obsession with Russian culture and history, a Russian Studies major could come into use.
No, seriously, stay with me. There's actually a connection here.
With the two degrees, and maybe some grad school work, we were thinking hey - I could use this to teach. I haven't seen any courses - though we have found one book - that were like what we were thinking of: Russian musical history. It'd be like any other music history course, except concentrating on Russian composers, and God only knows there are a lot of them.
The other idea, this one more recent (a.k.a., suggested a few hours ago) was journalism. Now, this woman had never even encouraged a degree in anything but science, so this one was just a little (a lot*) out of the blue. But, she had a point: I'm a good writer, and I'm naturally hypercritical, and so maybe a career, or a side one, as a music critic could work. At least, I'd like to think I'm a good writer, and I've been told many times - but you all can judge that for yourselves. The hypercritical part, I'm 100% sure I am. I'm not exactly a kind reviewer to my own performances.
All of that aside though, I'm definitely not going to be choosing a college based on what sort of enhanced musical career I want, if I decide on one. University of Rochester (that I'll refer to as U of R from now on) offers a Russian Studies major, while Boston University (now BU, because I'm lazy) doesn't. I haven't gotten a chance to check on which offer journalism, but since journalism is journalism I'm more or less assuming that both schools have programs in it.
In all though, I still really want to study with Robert Sheena.

Reedmaking for the Non-Oboist

Okay, I know this is the first time I've posted in ages. But, I promise: it'll be worth it.
I came up with an idea as the billionth person asked me how an oboist makes reeds: why not create a sort of series that explains how reeds are made? In no way do I consider myself an expert on the subject, but I at least know enough, I'd think, to describe it well enough for those who have no idea what I'm talking about.
I'm hoping to publish the first segment of this by the end of the week at the latest. I don't know how long this will take, and I can go only so in depth (it's pretty in-depth, but still) as I don't have a gouging machine or anything -but that's near an equivalent of AP Reedmaking, so I'll leave that for another day.

Just Sharing

My correct reed case arrived today, finally. It, like the other was, is absolutely gorgeous. I won't be retiring my other cases permanently, but I've already moved everything in for tonight's rehearsal.
I love it way too much.

Another Post-Weekend Update

My practicing has been garbage these last two days. My embouchure lasts a good hour and then - bang. I'll give myself some slack with that I've been playing a lot of high (really, really high) notes in an attempt to be able to build my range upward, but still. It's getting bothersome.
This past week I was away in Disney World in Florida, golfing and shopping and whatnot. I did, this time, take my oboe and English horn with me, and was practicing for about an hour or more per day in the conference center. It was a little weird (not to mention, there was always a slightly bizarre smell about the place). It's apparently unusual for students, though not for professionals. I'm glad I did though.
I got a Godiva bar for Easter, but more importantly, my shaper handle and reed case finally arrived(!). The shaper is beautiful - I spent a good five minutes sitting and staring at it - and so is the case. The only problem with the case, however, is that it's not the one I'd ordered. Gorgeous polished wood exterior, smooth black velvet-like interior ... but with only space for ten reeds, as opposed to the 24 spots I'd intended.
Great.
So, despite its gorgeousness, I'm sending it back and will be getting a more correct (more, because it's not 24 but 20; apparently they don't sell 24-reed cases) case sometime. Eventually. In the meantime, I'll still keep my two cases, but I was really looking forward to that. Anyway. The shaper handle is sleek and modern enough to keep me happy.
I might even post a picture of it, who knows.
[Also: 18 days until the lesson with Mr. Sheena. Holy God.]

Crippling indecisiveness strikes again

In the last six hours or so, I've gone from having only one option for a camp to three, potentially four. I received an acceptance from Interlochen into their woodwind ensemble, from Tanglewood into their oboe workshop, and I was already accepted into NYSSSA. I haven't heard yet from Tanglewood about the woodwind ensemble, but I should be hearing soon. I'm third on the waitlist, for one spot, and I'm feeling somewhat optimistic despite myself (and despite my father's pervading pessimism).
Initially, I really wanted to go to Interlochen: I'd heard glowing reviews about it from everyone I knew who went there. But, now, I'm reading the course description of the oboe workshop on the BUTI website, and I'm getting positively ecstatic that I'm accepted into that. I can't do Interlochen if I do the workshop, though - and that's where things get messy.
If I do the workshop, I either get to go to NYSSSA or the BUTI woodwind ensemble, depending on whether I'm accepted to the ensemble or not. If I am, I'll know two people going - if I don't, I'm not sure I know anyone attending. (By the time I'd get to the workshop, I would have met Robert Sheena already, and I consider that to be knowing someone. I'm a pro at befriending (not sucking up to, may I clarify) teachers, and I don't see why I shouldn't. The workshop, so says a friend of mine who attended one last year, usually only has a few students, maybe five or six. In a group that small, I'm usually not shy at all. In fact, quite the opposite.) Interlochen starts right away, and it overlaps with the workshop.
I'd like to do Interlochen, but this workshop is calling me. Two weeks of intense study? I don't think I can say no. I just have to wait and see, and Interlochen is requesting that I respond with a yes or a no by Friday.
Update: After more debating, I'm turning down Interlochen and accepting the BUTI oboe workshop. I can't say no to that, under any circumstance. (I feel pretentious for turning down Interlochen, but no matter.) Robert Sheena and John Ferrillo for two weeks? I think so. 

My musical existence in ten words (plus an emoticon)

Ordinarily, I'd give a little run-down of how last night's rehearsal went, but I think it's better summed up by our star (and only, but he's great, so it's not a good-only-because-he's-the-only-one thing) tuba player, who tweeted this during rehearsal:

Honestly, I don't think I ever have a need to post about our rehearsals again, save publishing a link back to this. 

Another Weekend Update, but Boring and with No Seth

This week has, altogether, been pretty fantastic for music.
Yesterday I got a good bit of playing in, though not as much as I'd liked (I'm never satisfied). My run-through of Mozart's Concerto in C was incredible: it was one of those moments where I thought "I knew I was good, but I didn't know I was that good". I seem to have a sort of issue where I think too much about what I'm doing, and thereby mess myself up. I think of it as "getting in the way of my fingers", and when I stepped out of the way, damn - it sounded great.
I still haven't heard anything from Laubin about when my order will come in (I was told last that it would be sometime this week), nor have I heard anything from Interlochen. Theoretically, I should be hearing in the very near future if I'm in or not. All applications with payments were due this past Friday, so the audition tapes of those who were waitlisted, like mine, will be reviewed in the near future. I don't know when I should be hearing by, I never received an exact date. All I know is I'm back to becoming anxious every time I see a notification for an email - it's back to waiting on Tanglewood or Robert Sheena all over again.
Yesterday, I thankfully redeemed myself from that absolutely terrible concert I'd done the week before at the local Ethical Society. (For those wondering what that is, it's a kind of humanist organization; it's what I was brought up with in place of Catholicism or some other religion like that.) I played the first Metamorphosis by Britten, and then Wagner's English horn solo in Tristan and Isolde. I wanted to play some English, but didn't have an accompanist, and therefore needed to find something solo. So, Tristan it was, despite it being more than a little weird to be playing something at a recital-like situation out of an excerpt book.
Meh; it worked. I can't complain.
Quintet rehearsals have been odd (as in, on Fridays) as of late. I don't know why our coach continues to schedule them for Friday: we get absolutely nothing done. Whether it's like two weeks ago, where nobody could stop giggling or being too energetic for their own good, or like this past Friday where it was more a quintet of zombies than instrumentalists, it doesn't work. At all. But, we still have another rehearsal this coming Friday. I'm not quite sure how well this plan was thought out.

Once again, my reeds betray me

Wow, do I have updates.
First off, I finally got in touch with Robert Sheena (of the BSO and BU's English horn and oboe professor, in case you're new to this topic, which I find hard to believe), and a date for a lesson is set for late April. (Finally.) The actual time hasn't been set yet; I'll be contacting him again about two weeks before to set up the specifics. I'm beyond excited, and alternately beyond terrified - it's all dependent upon whether I'm feeling confident in my abilities or not.
At the moment, I'm in between. I had a horrific concert today (the audience wasn't critical though; it's hard to describe, but they appreciate and clap for anything as though you're Garrick Ohlsson), largely courtesy of my reed. Oh, my God. That reed. It worked fine yesterday, though not as well as I'd liked, but today was just bad. I wasn't unprepared or under-prepared, I was just highly betrayed by my reed. Again. I'm going back to the same place next week, and am going to fix my reed before I go, to redeem myself. I need two solo pieces (no accompanist available then) so I think I'm going to be doing the first Metamorphosis by Britten and then the Tristan and Isolde solo for English horn, just so I can actually prove I got to All-State not by a mistake. I swear I didn't.
(I think one of the most embarrassing parts of that concert was the fact that my teacher was finally able to come to a recital and decided to go to that one, the first one he'd ever been to. At least, as an oboist, he understood that sometimes the reed just will not work under any circumstances.)
I had another recital, this time at the conservatory, this past Saturday as well. This was oboe and English; the final movement of the Strauss concerto for oboe and the first movement of the Wolf-Ferrari for English horn. I got many compliments that I'd never received before, despite it being not the best concert I ever played. (I thought it was god-awful, but others seemed to disagree.) The coach for my quintet, who's also the assistant dean, said I phrased very well and it seemed to come naturally; the executive director said I'm a natural on English horn.
I don't know what to do with myself with all this praise.
It doesn't sound like much, but this woman - the executive director - is rarely one to give compliments. It's all somewhat dampened by today's performance (I'm not going to even go into it; it'll discredit me from ever being able to say I'm a decent musician) but I'm still pleased.
Also, I was waitlisted for both the woodwind ensemble and oboe workshop at Tanglewood. This bothered me a lot at first, but I'm preoccupied enough by Juilliard auditions and NYSSMA and the fact that in 40 days I'm meeting Robert Sheena to really think about it. I'll hear by April 13 if I get moved into one of the programs. My fingers (and toes and eyes and anything else that's crossable) are crossed.
All in all, though, a good week. I kind of liked how I didn't have to pay much attention to schoolwork and was able to concentrate on music. It was weird, not having much homework and being ahead of schedule on projects, but I think I ought to keep this thing up.

Stravinsky Snark

I don't know whether I'm technically "allowed" to post this, but I am anyway, because I just find it funny.
In English a while back, we had to write an essay based upon this essay by Stravinsky. I (and my opera-singing friend who could relate much more than the rest of the class) enjoyed this far too much, especially upon discovering that Stravinsky was as sarcastic, irritated, and cynical as I could have hoped.
I won't share the essay (especially since I don't actually remember if we wrote it or just analyzed the piece), but here's the work by Stravinsky, in words rather than notes, for all of you to check out. I don't claim this to be mine - obviously, as I've mentioned several times that it was written by Stravinsky - and I owe credit to the College Board for even publishing it. I haven't been able to find it out of the AP context, at least as far as the internet is concerned.

Conducting, like politics, rarely attracts original minds, and the field is more for the making of careers and the exploitation of personalities - another resemblance to politics - than a profession for the application of exact and standardized discipline. A conductor my actually be less equipped for his work than his players, but no one except the players need know it, and his career is not dependent upon them in any case, but on the society women (including critics) to whom his musical qualities are of secondary importance. The successful conductor can be an incomplete musician, but he must be a compleat angler. His first skill has to be power politics. 

In such people the incidence of ego disease is naturally high to begin with, and I hardly need add that the disease grows like a tropical weed under the sun of a pandering public. The results are that the conductor is encouraged to impose a purely egotistical, false, and arbitrary authority, and that he is accorded a position out of all proportion to his real value in the musical, as opposed to the music-business, community. He soon becomes a "great" conductor, in fact, or as the press agent of one of them recently wrote me, a "titan of the podium," and as such is very nearly the worst obstacle to genuine music-making. "Great" conductors, like "great" actors, are unable to play anything but themselves;  being unable to adapt themselves to the work, they adapt the work to themselves, to their "style," their mannerisms. The cult of the "great"conductor also tends to substitute looking for listening, so that the conductor and audience alike (and to reviewers who habitually fall into the trap of describing a conductor's appearance rather than the way he makes music sound, and of mistaking the conductor's gestures for the music's meanings), the important part of the performance becomes the gesture.

If you are incapable of listening, the conductor will show you what to feel. Thus, the film-actor type of conductor will act out a life of Napoleon in "his" Eroica, wear an expression of noble suffering on the retreat from Moscow (TV having circumvented the comparatively merciful limitation to the dorsal view)and one of ultimate triumph in the last movement, during which he even dances the Victory Ball. If you are unable to listen to the music, you watch the corybantics, and if you are able, you had better not go to the concert.

Well, then.

Good news: Robert Sheena finally(!) responded. The delay was through no fault of his, though; I was sending emails to his Boston University address, and he apparently never reads that. (My mother thinks that's absurd, but it makes sense to me, having just gotten through a wave of endless spam.) The solution is rather roundabout, but I'll explain it. Hopefully I didn't already in a previous post and am just suffering from short-term memory loss as to what I've already posted.
Just over two years ago, I bought a used Loree English horn from Patrick McFarland of the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, having gotten wind of his buy-and-sell business through Laubin in Peekskill. My father being the avid socialite that he is kept up a meager correspondence with Mr. McFarland, occasionally sending updates on how the horn was doing (i.e., when it went to All-State). Thank goodness for this; I'll never complain about my father's chattiness again. It does wonders.
Mr. McFarland had said in an email once that he would be willing to give me the down-low on any teachers I was interested in to help me with selecting a school. With my issues with reaching Mr. Sheena, I figured, heck, I may as well. I sent him an email last night (it actually sent around eleven thanks to a lousy server), and received a response this morning: he had forwarded the note I sent to him to Mr. Sheena.
I was mortified, though without a real reason.
This was all straightened out this afternoon, when Mr. Sheena responded to the note with his email that he uses. I don't know how students find this address that he uses, but I have it, and I used it. So far I've sent another message explaining why I had been trying to contact him (sample lesson, in case you've forgotten), and a few thousand thanks that Mr. McFarland is on this green earth. (I also sent a message to Mr. McFarland directly; easily the most frequently used word in the note was "thanks". I hope he doesn't think I'm being a suckup - I'm just genuinely that thankful. I know who'll be coming up in my thoughts next November.)
I haven't received any response to the email sent to the preferred address yet, but I sent it mere minutes ago, so I'm not expecting anything. At this point, I'm just so glad he actually responded, he could say anything and I'd accept it.
So, I'm signing off so I can go print out the email he sent and frame it on my wall.
Have a good day, y'all.

Because I may as well color-coordinate something since I neglect that with my outfits

My mother thinks I'm nuts.
I know this, and she does, and so does anyone else who knows both of us, and it's all okay.
I finally ordered all the stuff that I've been considering buying (cane, shaper tips, the handle, an English horn easel which for some reason I never bought before this, and a reed case) and, true to form, I'm already thinking of the next oboe-related purchases that I want to make. I'm well aware I just spent over $500 on supplies. I choose to ignore this for the time being.
My next focus is thread for reeds. Being in full spring fever mode, I have a nice palette in mind of naturals and earthy colors. Of course, my mother thought this was boring and absurd, but I like color-coordination. From Charles Double Reeds, I'm currently thinking of spring green, "yummy" chocolate, chartreuse or tan, and white just because I've never seen anyone with white thread. (There's probably a reason, i.e., it's boring as anything, but I figure it's better than the red thread that everyone seems to have.) I'm also thinking maybe wisteria or lilac to add some color-wheel contrast to the whole deal.
I can't believe that I'm honestly spending this much time thinking about this.
...
Wisteria; I'd like the spring green/wisteria contrast. I'm still not sure about chartreuse or tan; the tan clashes with the brown, I think, and I'm not sure how chartreuse would look next to spring green. The only things I'm sure of are spring green and brown... and once again I'm woken up to how absurd this is.
This, friends, is what happens when a person with a slight eye for visual arts becomes an oboist.

Also: 3 emails sent thus far and no response. I've been told by a friend of mine I should contact Sheena via Facebook. As invasive as I think this is, I may go for it. I'm still somewhat undecided.

Nitpicking, nitpicking

As it's no longer the first rehearsal of this half of the season, the chronic nitpicking has begun in my full orchestral ensemble. My friend, who is a first violin there, missed rehearsal last night as she was at the Secret Policeman's Ball in NYC the night before (or something like that). I said (as I've done this before) that I would live-blog her the rehearsal, so she would get a taste of what she was missing.
I didn't actually finish it, as I gave up halfway through and just got generally irritated, but I did it for the most part. I'm going to post it, just because I think it makes a good kind of filler post so my blog isn't as dead as it was for the last two weeks or so. I would ordinarily worry about whether a college or conservatory would see this, but I think any orchestral musician has been driven mad by conductors enough times to understand.
Here goes:

• 2/3 oboes. Again.
• Played the A. Nobody tuned.
• Awkward.
• And the nitpicking begins.
• Restart Rienzi.
• Re-restart Rienzi.
• Picking at intonation.
• Stop.
• Lecture.
• Restart.
• Wws [woodwinds] played in cut time accidentally.
• Myself included.
• Stop.
• Lecture about practicing.
• Restart.
• Stop.
• Lecture about tone.
• "Anaemic"
• Strings only.
• Yes, he said our tone was "anaemic".
• Lecture on dynamics.
• Tutti.
• Stop.
• Lecture on dynamics.
• Stop.
• Percussion nitpick.
• Stop.
• Lecture on interpretation.
• Horns are giggly.
• Trumpets are apathetic.
• Stop.
• Percussion nitpick.
• Stop.
• Woodwinds.
• Stop.
• Strings.
• Tutti.
• Stop.
• Brass nitpick.
• Condescension from the trumpets to the conductor.
• Points go to Sophie's brother.
• Trumpets got kinda sassy.
• Horn nitpick.
• Stop.

At that point I gave up. I stopped sometime between a half hour and 45 minutes into rehearsal (my iPhone doesn't tell me exactly), and this kept going well into the second hour. I'd say more, but I think this speaks for itself.

Let me note, however, that I didn't get to mark down each and every stop and start. There were many, many more.

And people wonder why I'm so often in a bad mood.

 

Impatience

No reply yet.
I'm impatient, I know. But the world seems as though it wants to torture me, because I'm suddenly receiving 70-something spam emails a day. And every time I see a notification on my email app, I get worked up.
I'm giving him a week before I send another.

Eek.

I seem to have a talent for stressing myself out over minor things. Today proved successful in this respect.
I finally got around to sending an email to Robert Sheena, the English horn/oboe teacher at Boston University. (I just noticed, it seems like every male I know is named either Robert or Matthew. This is getting bizarre.) I asked for a sample lesson, as it seems like every music student in my grade is doing the same thing. It's all done and sent, and now the wait begins.
Which is when, of course, the stressing begins.
It also doesn't help much that I have my road test next week, and it's potentially the most unnecessarily nerve-wracking thing I've ever done, simply because it's so simple. But, I refuse to even really think about it, so for the moment I'm going to pretend it doesn't exist.
I'd sent Mr. Sheena a couple emails sometime last year, but never received a response. I was somewhat offended a while back, but decided that I was better off just dealing with it. Looking back, they were kind of pointless: I wrote something about asking what the difference between a solely oboe and a combination oboe/English horn program would be when studying in college. I honestly don't blame him for not responding.
I hope he does this time, though; at the moment he's still my top choice of teacher. I can only wait and see whether or not a) he responds, b) I like him and he likes me when/if I do get a lesson, and c) if I get into BU at all. I've become so hooked on the idea of going there I've even seriously considered early decision (or action, whichever one is binding - I never remember), if they offer it to music students at the College of Fine Arts. Previously, I never would have dreamed of doing this.
I'm honestly beginning to consider myself insane.

In awe.

I just saw, broadcast live to a theatre near where I live, the Los Angeles Philharmonic and Simon Bolivar Symphony Orchestra's combined performance of Mahler's 8th.
I'm still rendered speechless. It was just that good.
I'd elaborate but there are just no words.

Hell is on its way

Well, as if I didn't have enough on my plate this year, it looks as though I'll be taking on even more the next. I think I'm just asking for a nervous breakdown, but I don't want to discontinue anything. Besides, the majority of what I'm taking on is musical, and I generally view that as therapy, not a stressor.
So, if everything with scheduling goes well, I'll have a full courseload: AP Music Theory, AP English 12, AP Macroeconomics, AP Environmental Science (possibly, unless I decide I want a free period), and AP Calculus. All of this plus band and drawing, and a half-year online course on music and art history that's being offered for the first time next year. I normally wouldn't spring for it, but it sounds interesting. After last year's catastrophe with the online course I took (I ended up dropping after seven weeks; stress levels were too high and the other people in the class never participated in anything), I'm surprisingly not wary of trying another one. I may try to drag someone I know into it, too, so I won't be completely alone.
Then, in addition to this, I'll be having college auditions, I may have Juilliard Pre-College, plus students and whatever orchestras I'll be in to practice for. I also just need to practice, period.
All in all, I'm setting myself up for total hell.
But, the majority of the hell I'm getting into is musically related, so maybe I'll like it. I already spoke with another one of my friends (a highly talented opera singer, though she doesn't seem to think she's as good as she actually is sometimes) and she agrees that probably the easiest part of next year is complaining, especially about AP Theory (which is what we were specifically talking about at the time).
Oh, and I forgot to mention all the shows with the drama club I'm hoping to do, what with seniority and that stuff that's now on my side: the autumn show, winter show, and spring musical that maybe I'll actually get a part in and won't do pit by default. I will concede that this year, with Oklahoma!, there's a decent, hopefully Sweeney Todd-like oboe/English horn book that I'll be playing. Maybe (just maybe) I won't spend the entire time watching the show and missing all the cues. Nobody in the audience notices whether you play or not, but by the fifth time running through the show, you stop watching and start realizing how little you're doing. And that is never fun. (Thoroughly Modern Millie, anyone?)
Not this year, I hope.

I maintain I am a professional procrastinator

I sometimes wish I would be able to graduate without taking any classes. Yet again I find myself, at 9 PM, not having even a chance to think about practicing yet today because of all the homework I've been doing. I won't give myself a full ride, though: I procrastinated this take-home until the last minute, but I along with everyone else in this class. (AP Chemistry, in case you all are wondering.)
I will defend myself, however, and say that if I'm forced to go to bed without practicing, it won't have been without playing. I have band, as I do every day, where I usually sit and wait while the director works with the flutes and trumpets and practice either Mozart's Concerto in C or the oboe excerpt from Rossini's La Scala di Seta to occupy myself, at approximately a dynamic of pppp. And people say clarinets are the quietest instruments in the woodwind section.
I'm feeling pretty good musically, though. I'm currently listening to WQXR, and they're currently broadcasting a concert by Leif Ove Andsnes, solo on piano at Carnegie Hall. It's incredible, and I remember specifically one particular thing he said during an interview prior to the performance on the air. (At least, I assume it was him, I never heard specifically.) Nevertheless, he said how one piece he was playing was one he considered an "old friend"; he had first seriously started to attempt to master it at around age 16. This reminds me a lot of Mozart's Concerto (the one previously mentioned), and I just found it somewhat uplifting. Hey, this guy wasn't playing Chopin in Carnegie hall at age 6 (not like I know of anyone who did; nor do I know for sure that Andsnes did not), and look where he is: audience members interviewed said he is "one of their favorite pianists". Not bad, not bad. He certainly sounds charismatic, and plays quite excellently. Colorful, with a wide range of tone and musicality. I'm impressed. I'd be also impressed by myself if I weren't impressed.
I'd say more, but there's not much more to say. I'm still highly bothered by how this year, contrary to every other school year I've had in my lifetime, we have no midwinter vacation. It's instead an "extended weekend": this coming Friday there is no school, and the Monday following is off, too. I'm bitter. My classmates are bitter. The teachers are bitter. And all this because of the absurd amount of snow days we had to have last year. This year? The only ones used so far were back in October from that freak snowstorm on Halloween.
Bitter, bitter, bitter.

Ludwig van Hamlet

Ages and ages ago (maybe in October or so of this current school year) my teacher was in the middle of a campaign to get the majority of the band to learn to syncopate, or at least count. I don't think it really worked; we're still suffering from lack of rhythm and reading. His new slogan, "Play the ink, not what you think" hasn't really paid off.
Anyway, true to form, I'm getting off topic. One day, he'd written on the board: "To syncopate or not to syncopate, that is the question". Now, as a true Shakespeare nut who reads Antony and Cleopatra for fun, I immediately took it and ran with it. I dragged along my friend Nadia who sits next to me in class (credit to her is well-deserved) and together we began to convert the entire suicide contemplation speech into a speech bemoaning music. We only did some lines, but showed our director it anyway, and he absolutely went mad for it. He said once we finished it, he wanted it, and would have it made into a poster.
Well, that was way back when that he said it, and we hadn't finished it until maybe a half hour ago. I finally was sick and tired of it hanging over my head, and sat down and completed the rest of it. It's not just word replacement, I'd like to think; reading over it, it seems to have an actual poetic quality (aside from the lines where I couldn't keep the syllable pattern and shot it to hell).
We're both proud of it, and it just sounds really awesome, so I thought I'd share it with you guys. Feel free to leave comments or send me a note if you want. Hopefully this will make poster form in a few weeks, where Nadia and I will live in infamy on the band room wall until probably Mesches, the director, leaves.
Drumroll, please...

To syncopate or not to syncopate, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The signs and patterns of outrageous rhythm,
Or to take arms against a sea of ties,
And by subdividing end them? To tie: to slur;
No more; and by a slur we say we end
The articulation and the thousand natural accents
That song is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To tie, to slur;
To slur: perchance to sing: ay, there's the rub;
For in these measured bars what sounds may come
When we have shuffled off these rested minutes,
Must give us pause: there's the breath
That makes calamity of so long line;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The conductor's wrong, the first chair's contumely,
The beats of despised sharps, the beat's delay,
The insolence of soloists, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,
When he himself might his glory make
With a bare melody? Who would second chairs endure
To grunt and sweat under a weary line,
But that the dread of something far further,
The nigh-mythical success, from whose bourn
No soloist returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear harmonies we have
Than fly to soli that we know not of?
Thus fear does make ensembles of us all,
And thereby the native glow of betterment
Is then made dark with dim timidity,
And thus endeavour of great pitch and movement
With this find that their currents turn awry
And lose the name of music.

I really hope you all like it; I had way too much fun doing this, aside from a few troublesome spots. But, all in all, I got a huge kick out of this.

And as usual, a weekend of snark

Well, it's snowing again (flurries, really) so I may as well update this little project I've been neglecting. As a follow-up, my bank account is still intact. I have yet to actually order anything (even cane, which I really need to do) so I'm not yet feeling the cold, empty feeling that comes from spending half of my savings. I was never a saver until relatively recently, and I rather regret that. My mother says it's from her and my dad. Whatever the cause, I have less money than I'd like.
About an hour ago, I had a children's concert with the conservatory I attend. It's technically supposed to be a "meet the woodwind family" concert, but as far as I know they've never gotten new students from it. I'm not sure what the point is. If they have, great; most of the kids are more or less just watching and on occasion crying. It's a young audience. I'm not sure I like it.
This time, as opposed to earlier years, it was with the woodwind quintet I'm in, so we had a built-in setup for the program. Previously, they would gather up a good flute, clarinet, saxophone, me on oboe, and that would be it. Once I think they blended the brass and woodwinds so it didn't look quite as pathetically small, but my memory tends to mush things together so I can't be sure. I distinctly remember, though, three years ago the clarinetist being unavailable and the teacher literally cut out a vaguely clarinet-shaped piece of paper, scribbled black sharpie all over it, and said it was a clarinet. I sincerely wish I was joking. At least she didn't try to play the thing; she brought a CD player with a clarinet concerto recording to demonstrate the sound.
This year, we had a whole representation of the woodwind section, excluding a sax, a piccolo, and a bass clarinet. (The clarinetist plays both saxophone and bass clarinet, but he was asked to play neither; the flutist was not asked to bring her piccolo; meanwhile, I was told to bring my English horn. Oh, well.) One horn (whom I'm dating, for future reference), clarinet, bassoon, flute, and me doubling on English and oboe were all the performers. We each went around, talked a little about the instrument(s), had to demonstrate a fun thing you can do with the instrument(s) (I'm completely convinced that, in the respect of interesting and weird things you can do with instruments, oboe is possibly the most boring one out there. You can't flutter tongue (or at least I can't); you can't really produce noticeable dips in the pitch like a saxophone or clarinet unless your reed is truly horrendous; you can't do mouth percussion like you can on a flute; it's not a versatile, jazz/classical/rock/whatever-genre-you-want instrument like a clarinet. I'm not sure many would consider this a drawback. Hey, we still do get all the soli.), demonstrate your range, play a solo, and then we performed a quintet piece we'd been working on to show how they sound together. I was passed over in the range demonstration. I'm fairly sure the MC forgot; he seems too nice to have subtly laughed to himself that the oboe "has no range" and thereby didn't need a demonstration. (Yeah, right. Tell that to Milhaud.)
All in all, everything went well. I botched up the etude that I think was originally written for violin that I played, only a little though, but I constrained my usual "well, that sucked" expression and eye roll that I do during rehearsals and practice sessions, so nobody knew. I think. I hope. I got applause; why should I complain?
We didn't have the usual tempo wars during the Haydn, the piece we played as an ensemble. It's apparently originally a piano trio, in case you're interested in looking it up, but was transcribed for woodwind quintet. We're also playing a Beethoven and a Malcolm Arnold piece. The former I love (but the horn hates, as he has to transpose) and the latter I find just basically bizarre. My teacher likes it, but to each his own. I keep having to smother my laughter at the ridiculous half-step harmonies I'm playing with the clarinet as I wonder what on earth this is supposed to sound like.
Tomorrow, as opposed to another rehearsal, my regular orchestra is instead hosting a senior concerto and sonata concert, with a couple ditties that the orchestra as a whole will play. (Likely, my guess, to ensure an audience other than the seniors' parents.) I don't know who's playing, aside from my friend a tuba player who goes to Juilliard. I know he's good, so I'm excited to hear him play. I've honestly only heard him once play something that wasn't just quarter notes, so him having the melody ought to be interesting. (If you're reading this, Conor, good luck!)
Reeds are still holding up. Everything's good. Hope you all are having a good weekend, despite this bizarre weather.

I suddenly realize why I had a headache all day

Well, for a week that started out pretty sourly, it's gotten better. ... in the last few hours, at least. I just finished a great practice where I finished up with the Yvon English horn sonata, which I haven't played in several months (or, possibly, a year or so). It sounded great, and I sure got a kick out of it. The presto at the end was nearly 100% there, and I'm just wowing my own pants off.
In other news, I changed the solo I'll be playing for my Juilliard pre-college audition to the Mozart Concerto in C (obviously, for oboe). I know it better than the Vaughan Williams, for one. But, the main reason for me switching was how they, Juilliard, requested two contrasting movements from "a" concerto or sonata, as opposed to two contrasting movements that are not necessarily from the same piece. The Vaughan Williams is pretty much the same throughout in terms of mood; it doesn't have a distinguished slow, sustained movement. Therefore, the Mozart it is.
Anyway, enough technical talk. Let me now explain to you why I now find the band that I generally can only bitch and moan about to be something of a godsend.
My band director allows upperclassmen to play with the freshman band that he also conducts to receive lesson credits. (We need 5 lesson credits per quarter, or 10 per semester. Usually, a lesson entails an entire period of listening to the director ramble on about scales, or syncopation, or how much he wants kids to learn to read music rather than just play what they hear the good people play, rather than actually working on the music with them .. they're a source of angst among a lot of the people I know in the class.) This is the notorious freshman band that was a complete and utter disaster last band concert that took place before, I think, I'd started this blog.
I'll keep it simple: they had to stop and restart the pieces three times, possibly four. It was atrocious, or so I've heard: I decided against actually going backstage and listening with the majority of the upperclassmen. I don't regret that decision.
Anyway, they don't seem to have much improved. From what my flutist friend and I have discovered, the incoming freshmen-to-be-sophomores lack rhythm, counting, intonation, balance ... the one thing they have no shortage of, however, is noise.
I'll try and be nice here, though; I don't want to be antagonistic (even though I think it's too late for me to start now).
I was sitting across from the clarinet section, unlike my usual position square in front of the conductor. Boy, was that weird. It didn't help that I didn't know a single one of the clarinets in the front row, although I think I know one of their mothers. (The girl looked familiar; most likely some Girl Scouts connection that I never really paid attention to.) One of them, every time I happened to glance at her, was looking straight back at me, and had this sort of expression that made me feel like I was just condemned to the deepest rings of hell. I don't know what it was about it, or why it was directed at me, and maybe it's just her blank look (in which case I feel pretty bad for saying that), but it was unnerving. I was tempted to offer a smile, but then I remembered that I was supposed to be a snooty and skilled upperclassman and kept my mouth tight around my reed. (That was sarcasm.)
All in all, I was beyond relieved when it was finally time for class to be over and upperclassmen band came in. I'm fairly sure that, with the exception of the beginning of my freshman year (I was exempted from taking freshman band; they wanted an oboe with the upperclassmen), this was the first time I was completely, 100% grateful to hear the group play.
Music to my ears.

Come join me if you're in the mood for a good cry

I always seem to want to blog the most whenever I have something that requires work. Usually, in a write-a-full-page-on-something-you-know-nothing-about kind of way, rather like the homework I'm procrastinating now. And, as a result, here I am.
Following up on my recent post on shopping, I've actually included a detailed shopping list, with prices - all of which, together, make me want to cry for picking such a high-maintenance instrument.
It's not fair.
But, I do well on it so I'm sucking it up. Here are the choke-worthy tallies that I've compiled and am planning to watch dissolve out of my savings soon:

• From Laubin:
• English horn easel: $26.00
• Rigotti shaper handle: $100.00
• English horn Nagamatsu tip: $190.00 (this is where I felt a small part of my soul wither and die)
• Oboe Nagamatsu tip: $190.00
• Rigotti gouged English horn cane: $1.70
• Rigotti gouged oboe cane: $1.70 (these are cheap but they're on the list; I may as well include them)
• English horn bocal, size #1, 2, or 3: $390.00 (or $410, if I want a larger one)
• From Charles Double Reeds:
• Beeswax: $2.25
• Rigotti Engilsh horn tip: $115.00
• Rigotti oboe tip: $115.00

I think the fact that I can consider something that goes for $115 cheap just says a lot about how empty my savings is going to feel after I buy all this. I'm not buying four tips; I'll buy either Nagamatsu or Rigotti for English and oboe, but I don't know which. I'm fairly sure I'm getting Nagamatsu for oboe, but English horn I haven't a clue. If anyone has a preference, let me know. I'm open to input. 

Also, I won't be buying the English horn bocal right away most likely; I have two (a Fox and a Loree; the former, I never use) and they're (the Loree, rather, is) working fine. My teacher suggested I buy a Laubin when I get the chance, and possibly try and wheedle a lower price out of Paul Laubin when I'm down at the shop. I'm not much of a haggler, but I'll be there anyway to get cane so I may try.

All in all (including the price of the bocal so it sounds more dramatic and impressive and pitiful for my wallet), if I buy the two Nagamatsu tips, it totals $901.65, plus tax, and shipping, both of which are not included. 

Mother of God. 

I hadn't calculated the total before, and this just makes me almost want to major in ... in... I don't even know ...  when I get to college. Moving on - if I buy one Nagamatsu, one Rigotti, it comes down to $826.65. Somewhat better but the idea of bursting into tears sounds like a good one right now. With two Rigotti shaper tips, it's $751.65. It's still too close to a thousand for comfort...

If you take out the bocal (I haven't tried to add the twenty dollars for the larger one: I'd like to preserve what's left of my sanity, but you can see for yourself what it would that if you so please) it should be somewhat more rational... $361.65, $436.65, and $511.65. (I know that's out of order, but the 751.65 was still in my calculator when I subtracted the bocal so I did them out of order. Sue me for laziness; I can't be much more broke than I will be when all this is done. I'm aware that sounds like terrible English, but I'm fairly certain it's correct. The evils of slang strike again.)

Hopefully, most of these purchases will be one-time ones. Hopefully. I pray. I'd better do well on these shaper tips, because the thought of having to cough up another near-$200 isn't a pleasant one. And, unless I'm so unlucky that a truck manages to somehow run its tire treads over it, the bocal ought to be a once-in-a-lifetime investment.

This is one of those times where I wonder why on earth I chose this instrument.

[I somehow still adore it.]

You dislike your reeds? What else is new?

I'm going to try and keep this post short. My current top priorities at this exact second are get warm and go to sleep, neither of which I can do while writing this.
Anyway, today went all right musically. I got a little less practice than I would have liked (by maybe a 20 minute margin), but my embouchure and right hand - specifically, thumb - were quite sore and more than willing to call it a day.
For once, I actually attempted to make reeds. But, this was somewhat thwarted: only one piece of the two canes I soaked for an hour plus was an oboe cane. I made that reed; all turned out fine. The other, which was English horn cane, I attempted to make. This went less successfully, as it was poorly shaped (doubtlessly my own doing from a while back) and there wasn't a hope in the world that it would seal. You could literally see into the reed, no matter how even you tried to close the sides.
Enough technical talk, though. I don't have much else to go on; I still haven't found my quintet music, I still haven't found my cigarette paper, my thumb still feels like it wants to die whenever I play horn for too long, I'm still trying to make any one of my oboe reeds an actually decent reed. (This is an exaggeration, mind you: I can play fine on nearly any one of the ones I have in my case at the moment; none of them are what I would call "perfect", though.) The one I played on today completely wiped out my embouchure in a matter of a half hour, at maximum. I managed to pull through for nearly an hour, but by that time I gave up and said "to heck with this". Nearly literally, too; I probably did, as I talk to myself incessantly, but I don't quite remember.
All I can say is thank God for the fact that English horn reeds generally last a long time. I've been playing on this one literally since before All-State, and it's only now just beginning to show its age. 

the Double Reed Player's Shopping Spree

I haven't actually gone on one yet recently, but I at least know what I plan on buying whenever I do.
Today, on the way to my theory class (uneventful save a minor, time-consuming catastrophe with the copy machine) I was naturally thinking about where I want to end up musically and how to get there, also dwelling on reedmaking as I know my best English horn reed isn't going to last much longer. Then, suddenly, it hit me: why not spend the money I received for Christmas (nothing for the birthday; I got this laptop and tickets to Seminar instead) on a shaper? And tips, of course; a tipless shaper is a useless shaper.
Now, sue me for false advertising, but I see nothing wrong with using the money I was given to buy the espresso machine I was previously saving for to buy the shaper. God only knows I'll get enough use out of it, and besides: I'll finally stop borrowing my teacher's, and will be able to make reeds when I want to, rather than waiting until I have a shaper and the bizarre urge to make them passes.
I know I use the Nagamatsu shape for oboe, but I'm not quite sure what for English. Charles Double Reeds has Rigotti .. and that's it. Laubin, thankfully, has a Nagamatsu for English horn as well. I might just go with both Nagamatsu just for the sake of it, but I dunno. It's a familiar name; the only time I ever see Rigotti is stamped on the inside of cane.
Thinking about it, I haven't seen my English horn easel in a while. Actually, I'm not sure I ever bought one. I'm fairly sure I did, though; it just mysteriously disappeared like the majority of the things I own. ... including cigarette paper, which I now realize, while looking at the products list on Laubin's site, I haven't seen in a while. There are a couple of scraps floating around the basement where my music stuff is kept, but other than those pitiful pieces I haven't a clue where the rest of them are. More cane, too, I just thought. I have a bit of oboe but no English horn, and god only knows I don't need any more oboe reeds. (In fact, I'm planning tonight to dismantle all the unused, ancient reeds I have lurking down there. I could make a fortune reselling the tubes.)
Also, my mother informed me of a fantastic creation, a combination oboe-English horn reed case. I haven't one, but I know it's out there somewhere. For a "meager" price of over $50 (I believe), I think it's well worth it. I can say for sure I'll get a good deal of use out of it.

Crunch time!

Well, in the passing of 24 hours, I went from an okay perspective on practicing to a goal of three hours per day. A number of things have caused this:
1, the oboist that dropped out of the Monday night orchestra has mysteriously reappeared. I don't know where she went (I barely know her at all, so I didn't think it was my business; she said she hadn't played in a while so who knows what had happened). All I know is she's doubling first and I consider this a massive infringement on my personal territory. Naturally, this makes me unbearably competitive, and I therefore am on a practicing spree.
2, an acquaintance/friend of mine who played at All-State was accepted to Jacob School of Music and was invited to play on From the Top on the radio. I'm a little envious, sure; who wouldn't be? But, I've always admired him since I played second to him in seventh grade (seventh for me, eighth for him), and I more or less view it as an "Okay, if you work at it, you can be as good as he is, no problem." So, therefore, more practicing.
Third and finally, I've decided to audition for the Juilliard pre-college program, even though it'll only be for my final year of high school. I've been feeling pretty 'left in the dust', and so I'm applying to four camps and have recently (a.k.a., maybe eight hours ago) decided to audition for it. I've been thinking about it for a while, and as my friend said, I have nothing to lose. Why not? All I'll get is audition experience, another thing to practice for, and possibly a chance to attend Juilliard. I'm not planning on going to a music school in Manhattan, unless I fall in love with Juilliard or something, so I may as well go while it's there.
So, all in all, I've been practicing like mad. After a brutal two-hour rehearsal yesterday, I came home and did a full hour or more on English horn. Today, I got about an hour on both oboe and a little over on English, although I'm not quite sure as I had dinner in the middle of the oboe hour and I wasn't keeping track that well at all. Either way, my hand is sore and my embouchure is a little on the tired side, so I'm feeling good.

I dunno, I thought today was okay.

This isn't musically related at all, but I found it somewhat amusing. People on Facebook don't generally care, twitter is too short, and not many people see my tumblr, so I figured I'd post it here.
Today is, of all days, my birthday, and I was looking through the newspaper and saw "Today in History", and proceeded to get an enormous kick out of the quantity of black humor I found there. Allow me to explain: (The following dates and events are copied, for the most part, verbatim from the Journal News; I don't claim for them to be mine.)
On today's date in 1749, England's King Charles I was beheaded.
On today's date in 1798, a brawl broke out in the U.S. House of Representatives in Philadelphia, as Matthew Lyon of Vermont spat in the face of Roger Griswald of Connecticut.
On today's date in 1933, Adolf Hitler became chancellor of Germany.
And, finally, on today's date in 1948, Gandhi was fatally shot in New Dehli by a Hindu extremist.
So, all in all, not one of the most peaceful and pleasant days to apparently be born.

Routine Sunday Update at 9

Christ, I just noticed I had almost 100 pageviews yesterday. Dang, guys, I didn't know I was that interesting. (Or, does just one person find me really entertaining?... Eh, I'll stick with believing I have a decently-sized audience.)
Anyway, today wasn't much, musically. I had a lesson today, as opposed to the usual Saturday. It went well; apparently my teacher has played the somewhat-bizarre quintet music we were given yesterday (Malcolm Arnold's Three Shanties for Woodwind Quintet), and he says he likes it. At least that's giving me some amount of optimism that maybe it was just our sight-reading that made the first movement sound so strange. The second was plain and seemingly event-less, but the flute was absent, so all we got to hear was the background. I like the third; lots of Latin-style rhythms and the like. I faked my way through one rhythmically challenging passage and actually got it right. I ought to have more faith in my rhythm. Honestly, I just did it by feel, but apparently I have a pretty good sense of it.
Huh. I still managed to mess up the sight-reading from yesterday, though. Audition pressure, I'll warrant.
[Thinking about it, I find it funny how less stressed I am at NYSSMA auditions than others, like New York Youth Symphony, Boston University Tanglewood Institute, or various non-NYSSMA things like that. Maybe because I've been doing them (NYSSMAs) since god-only-knows-when, or that I view them as an evaluation rather than an audition. Either way, I find it frustrating. If I managed to have the same confidence I feel at NYSSMAs at standard auditions, I think I would have been accepted to the programs or merely less shamed (I'm still somewhat embarrassed about some auditions I've done) at prior auditions. Something to conquer, I guess.]
Other than that, nothing happened. (I mean, stuff happened, but nothing musical and I'm trying to cater to a specific audience here.) I went to the city and saw Alan Rickman in Seminar - it was fantastic, beyond words; mostly because I was in the same room as Alan Rickman, the thought of which still causes irrepressible grinning - but then went home, worked on homework for far too many hours, and am now treating myself to a Next Generation marathon, hopeless geek that I am.

So far, so fair

First and final summer program audition today, the rescheduled NYSSSA audition. Overall, I think it went ... well, I have no idea. Nearly every negative was countered by a positive or a more-positive way of looking at it. I botched the sightreading at one point, but stayed in time and jumped right back in without messing up the rest of it. Some notes failed to speak (something that only seems to happen at audition situations; rather frustrating) but there were other sections where everything sounded great. 

All I can say, I haven't the faintest idea how I did in the eyes of the judge, and I doubt I'll find out until I'm notified of whether I got in or not.

Terrifying, I tell you.

I did manage to slip in, when he asked what ensembles I have played in and programs I did, that I played in All-State on English this past December. Hopefully, even though he never heard the horn, he'll take that into consideration and maybe use it to give me a little bit of a boost. I also mentioned that I like playing English horn more than oboe. Looking back, I probably should've kept my mouth shut about that. Just one of the several times I want to smack myself, but instead settle for saying "I just need to shut up."

Quintet rehearsal later today. Ordinarily, this would be a concert. But, of course, quality and reliable attendance shot out the window as the date grew nearer. Our clarinetist had a matinee for a show he was playing in (Les Miserables at a local theatre) two (three?) weeks ago. Our horn was in Pennsylvania for Horn Day, or something along those lines, and I was supposed to have my NYSSSA audition then. I can blame myself somewhat; I was told if I didn't go there would be no rehearsal, so I decided to stay home, hermit that I am. I don't know what my exact reasoning was; I think I just decided I had planned on staying home that afternoon. I'm a stickler for keeping plans and getting in a mood when something comes up last-minute. But anyway, as I found out from the flute the following Monday at orchestra during break, she and the bassoonist both showed up and there was a duet quintet rehearsal. 

Feelin' like a slacker? You can bet your life on it.

Procrastination at its finest

I think the fact that I spent two hours practicing and then oiling and polishing my English horn and oboe rather than studying for my midterm in US History speaks volumes about me as a person.
There's not much else to say for today.
Hope you all are having a good week!
Edit: my theory class was unexpectedly cancelled, a plus. I consider my day because of it to be a good one, rather than just "not bad".

Conductor Rant, the first of many

In an attempt to avoid thinking about the tragedy that was the English midterm I endured today, I figured I could spend some time dwelling on the tragedy that was last night's rehearsal. With it being the first rehearsal of the second part of the season, I didn't have high hopes, fortunately. (It really wasn't as bad as it sounds; I'm just still feeling a sore spot from the selections of repertoire we're going to be doing.) The pieces we should be playing, if I remember correctly, and Wikipedia will help me here, are Offenbach's La Belle Helene Overture; Beethoven's Turkish March (not sure what opus, I don't trust Google); Bellini's Norma Overture; Berlioz' Hungarian March; and something else beginning with "Erin", whose composer's first name is Ernesto, but Google is failing to help in this endeavor as well.
There are a couple things from last semester that are still in our folders, none of which I'm terribly thrilled about. There is one, though; A Gluck overture that I've become fond of despite myself. I can't remember the name, though, and even Wikipedia's lengthy list of Gluck's operas isn't triggering any bells. Once I remember, I'll update this post and edit this section.
I think that to an audience, the pieces aren't that bad, save the Ernesto thing that is fine until it gets to a fugue-like section that just makes me want to cry. If the audience wants oboe solos, however, they'll be sorely disappointed. A little one in the Offenbach, and that's all. I'm slightly disappointed after last semester, which was more like an oboe concerto concert than an orchestral one. I was getting used to the attention. (And yes, I realize how narcissistic that sounds, and I've decided that I don't really care.)
We had a complete train wreck during the Berlioz, but everything else went fine. I had a passive aggressive moment during (I think it was) the Offenbach, after having started and stopped and started and stopped so many times it seemed like he was turning into my school orchestra conductor - which is not a good thing. He, after a seeming-eternity of this, he decided one section wasn't clean enough, and slowed us down. I normally wouldn't complain. It was pretty sloppy, what with how many flutes and clarinets we have (an abominable number). But, we already were going really, really, really slow. Taking it down to grave, and then gravissimo as there was a slight pull because it was so damn slow, was just a mite excessive. Then, he slowed down further, to the point where the skeletons and corpses in everybody's closets were complaining that it needed more vivacity.
I retaliated by playing every note I had a half step higher than written.
He never noticed.

Why I'm not sure about the Music Ed degree

This isn't related to anything that technically happened today, but I think it's a well-deserved rant, and a warning to anyone considering taking music lessons:
Pay your teacher.
One of my two current students (I'm not sure whether I should consider her a student at this rate) has had only two total lessons, due to insane and inconvenient scheduling, courtesy of our schools. They were both a few weeks apart, but she has still so far failed to compensate monetarily for her usage of my time. Mate, I'm not going to listen to you play a plastic oboe on a store-bought reed for no cost. I want something to make me understand that I'm not doing this out of the goodness of my heart, as the goodness of my heart is rapidly waning.
Personally, I'm of the opinion that $25 an hour is a ridiculously low fee. Because, um, it is. Therefore, I'm not seeing what the huge issue is with paying me. I don't bite unless you bite me first; I'd just like to be able to have some spending money without having to ask my parents for it. Self-sufficiency is a marvelous thing.
My mother is of the opinion that she (the student) is now embarrassed and afraid to approach with the money, or maybe there's an issue with her parents or something. In either case, she ought to come up to me and discuss it. I sent a very civilized (and I am a civilized person despite being a double-reed player, I'm neither exaggerating nor lying) message to her, and got no response.
Hmph.
At this point, every single ball I own is in her half of the court, and I'm willing to wait to see if she does anything with them. I'm not going to do a middle-school-teacher-esque hounding for what's due. You pay, you play. In the meantime, I'll just go and try to get rid of some of the irritation with English horn. We'll see how that goes.

I am now officially a Guy Braunstein fan.

I went to a concert he was featured in today, and oh my Mozart was it fantastic.
To fill you in, here are the details from today's performance with the Habsburg Symphony Orchestra: Jeffrey Tate was conducting, playing Vaughan Williams' Overture to Aristophanes' Comedy The Wasps, followed by Brahms' Violin Concert in D Major, op. 77, with Braunstein as soloist, and after intermission, Dvorak's Symphony No. 7 in D Minor, op. 70.
And let me tell you, it was great.
I actually had no idea I was going to any concert at all today, and only found out from my father after leaving my lesson (that had been rescheduled because of the audition that was cancelled and all that beeswax that I'm not going into again). Naturally, I was irritated, as I had had plans of going home, wearing a horribly clashing outfit of my heinously yellow Seussical t-shirt and grey and pink yoga pants, and watching Star Trek all afternoon, all of which were now dashed. But, I'm glad I sucked it up and went, because it was well worth it.
I have to say, I was a little alarmed by Tate initially, and I feel terrible for it. But, all skepticism was instantaneously removed once Wasps began, and I was decidedly impressed. One thing I noticed, though, was he is one of the types of conductors that conducts just a moment ahead of the beat, something I can't quite imagine having to follow. I suppose it's a type of thing where you look for beat one from him, and then play with everyone else to keep time (something, that with all the somewhat unsteady conductors I've had to follow (to sound rather ostentatious), I consider myself familiar with). I don't quite see the advantage of doing so, however. The only possible reason I can think of is when you're as lost as an elephant in the Pacific ocean, having "one" from the conductor slightly ahead of when it should be played gives you a chance to gather your brains and fall back into place.
Other than that, I'm still unconvinced it's a better idea.
At one point during the violin concerto, I remember thinking to myself: "If he"-meaning Braunstein-"isn't sweating yet, I'm thoroughly impressed." Sure enough, a while later he pulls out a decently-sized towel out of somewhere (I'm still not totally sure where he was fitting it) and mops his face. I found it kind of funny, but I'd bet there was someone in the audience who went "Ew, gross!", most likely one of the several white-haired ladies in the front of the orchestra section.
Despite the somewhat immature trains of thought running through my brain as to funny things I noticed (like how a bassist strongly resembled the sous-chef from Ratatouille), I managed to enjoy the music. Braunstein seemed to turn into an excited, extremely talented child through the music, excepting the more somber movements. That might sound like an insult, but I swear it isn't meant as one. Neither is the fact that I instantly judged that he was either pompous or very grounded, neither of which I've been able to figure out (I'm fairly sure, from various hard-to-describe events during bows, that it's the latter).
Speaking of children, the second bassoonist looked remarkably like my friend's younger brother who's in the eighth grade - in terms of appearance and in age. The other bassoonist looked like Keith Olbermann to me, but I wasn't wearing my glasses, so you don't have to take my word for it.
All in all, it was a really thrilling and engaging concert. The music was beautiful, and it was well worth the initial irritation that I experienced. (By the way, if you're wondering, the lesson went well. I'm finally decided on my NYSSMA soli for this year. Vaughan Williams for oboe, ironically, and Wolf-Ferrari for English horn. I'm, for once, excited.)

Winter Blues, Part II

Well, since it's way past noon and I haven't left the house since yesterday, you can guess that my audition was cancelled. I'm not entirely sure "cancelled" is the right word here, but the weather was far too atrocious to drive in (and it still is, which is why I'm here), and so we decided not to go.
Leaving me with absolutely nothing to do.
After the would-be audition, I had planned to go over to a friend's house for a while before going to the final show of Sound of Music. Well, the weather is still too lousy to even drive across town, so that's also been cancelled.
Leaving me with absolutely nothing to do.
I would practice, but it's too cold on any floor to think of doing such a thing. There's nothing to cook, play, make, read, anything. I just downloaded Wil Wheaton's Memories of the Future: Volume I off of Amazon to the kindle app on my computer, so I figure that will likely be the entirety of my afternoon right there.
The final show of SoM is still on, however, so I may actually get out of the house today (what a revelation). We'll just have to wait and see how this goes.

Winter Blues

Tomorrow, if everything goes as scheduled, I have an audition for NYSSSA somewhere upstate. (Don't ask where, I don't know. I'm not driving.) Unfortunately, however, Mother Nature finally decided that she'd had enough of this spring-weather-tease, and is actually giving us a winter storm.
Supposedly.
In any case, it's been already screwing with my schedule. The pit at the middle school (whose show didn't go as badly as anticipated, despite a total of twenty awkward moments ranging from forgotten lines to fuses blowing, plunging the pit into darkness during scene changes resulting in an early intermission) has a new, absolutely bizarre and ridiculous schedule. Tomorrow's matinee has been rescheduled. ... for this coming Monday night.
Who on earth would go to a middle school show - ANY show, for Pete's sake - on a Monday night? On a Monday night after a snowstorm?
Absolutely no one, that's who.
Already, I, along with a violin, flute, trombone, and the entire potential audience, are unable and unwilling to go. Some are more iffy, saying they can but that they'll bitch and moan about it the entire time (especially to the director). I can't honestly say I blame them. I'm skipping that show (even though I find being in the pit really rather fun, even if it is somewhat difficult to stay and listen to the singers at some points) for orchestra rehearsal. The pit conductor let me, after hearing from my friend that I would be missing seeing my boyfriend at the orchestra rehearsal. I honestly don't think it's that big of an issue, but that's my true non-romantic self coming out, yet again.
Whatever happens, I may be able to send in a recorded audition of myself to NYSSSA. If it needs to be videotaped, that just sucks the "metaphorical dick of life", and I'll probably have to go out to somewhere down on Long Island to do it.
Unfortunate, but I'm guessing all this insanity is just something I'll have to get used to.

I just love great music days.

Today was absolutely fantastic musically.
From around 11:30 to 2:15 or so I just straight practiced and played. I actually sounded really good, despite the fact that I was listening to playbacks of myself from the "Voice Notes" app on my iPhone. While the tone wasn't that great, I sounded good technically, and was feeling confident for today's recording.
I wasn't confident enough. I sounded absolutely fantastic.
Not only that, but the guy whose studio I recorded at agreed, he says that I ought to try for the concerto competition he's heading, and that he plans on giving my name and number to people looking for an oboe or English horn player for paying jobs. Tell me that doesn't sound spectacular.
He also said that while most oboe/Eng. horn doublers are merely "mediocre" at English horn, I have a really beautiful sound and am quite good at it.
This post is incredibly short, but, to sum it up, I've had an enormous ego and confidence boost. Plus, the recording overall sounds really damn good. I'm pretty proud. There are some glitches and stuff (all of them mostly nerves' fault) but then again some parts of the audition just sound pretty spectacular.
Had a great day.

My Personal Hell Week

This week has once again been a terrible week for my inner musician.
On the plus side, I've at least been playing - unfortunately, I'm not playing the stuff I ought to be.
Monday and Tuesday, in addition to tomorrow and Friday will all be pit rehearsals for the local middle school's production of Sound of Music. The pit as a whole sounds great so far; I can't say much for the singers. They all sing so quietly - not a single exception - that I honestly don't have an idea as to what their singing voices sound like.
Makes me wonder what I sounded like at that age.
One of my oboe student's younger sister is in the cast as a child, and heard me playing at yesterday's rehearsal while the children were singing "Do, a Deer" and "So Long, Farewell". According to her, I'm "amazing" and I "make [my student] sound terrible." I only wish there was a way for me to describe the expression Jessie, my student, was wearing as she told me this during band class today. It was singularly hilarious, but I have no words for it. (She agreed that what her sister had said was true; my outer humble self stayed modest, while my inner egotist laughed maniacally.)
Going back to why this week will be known in my memory as "My Personal Hell Week", I have a recording session either this coming Saturday or Sunday to make a CD for various auditions for music camps for over the summer. This, ordinarily, would not pose a problem at all. It does, however, when I find myself without a single minute of downtime between 7 AM and midnight. Every day. Without fail. This entire week.
I only decided on the pieces I would be playing this past Sunday. I, for some absurd reason, decided I'd pick something I'm slightly rusty on; I figured, I assume, I'd be able to prepare it in time.
Boy, was I wrong.
I'll only leave it at the sole fact that I am dreading this recording session with a passion.
[By the way, the concert this past Monday went fabulously. I think the month between the final rehearsal and our concert actually benefited us: even the slackers in the back of the violin section paid attention to whatever the conductor was doing up there, and we stayed in time and just sounded, quite simply, better than we have at many a rehearsal. I went through a somewhat awkward and (I believe) unwarranted one-on-one session with the conductor, literally 45 minutes prior to when we would be onstage, going over the solos I have and various other nitpickings he decided I ought to know. I think I ended up doing everything well, though. As per usual, I feel as though I could have played louder; but, I'll see how I actually did once the recording comes.]