Monetary Misery

Honestly, the number of times I've been told "Don't do that" or "Maybe music education?" or "Yeah, a double major is better, that way you'll at least have a job" is far, far beyond ridiculous.

I don't quite understand why people whom I've never spoken with before feel the urge to tell me that I'm doomed to live in a cardboard box on the side of the road by leaning toward music performance. Yes, I'm well aware that it's a difficult field - do you not think that I've already considered that? Sometimes it just makes more sense to go with what you want than what may provide you better. 

At least, that's what my view is.

For the longest time (okay, less than a year, but still) I would say "Science and music double major" whenever someone asked what I was thinking of doing in college. Science would be the backup, something I've long enjoyed and have been good at. But, I know if I don't make music my profession, I'm going to eventually cease playing. I need something to practice for, and I've played with some of the community orchestras around here. Trust me: been there, done that, not going back, and trying to forget what it sounded like. If I'm an adult and employed in the sciences, I'm going to lose passion for it, and that is something I'd rather die than have happen.

Well, maybe not die, but I don't want to do it. I feel as though stopping playing is the same idea as stopping living - worse than death, perhaps? I know not. But at the very least I'll be losing touch with a part of myself that I think is closest to my truest core.

My teacher's friend's daughter (easy enough to follow, I think) had the same decision I'm starting to lean to: she ignored all advice telling her to find a backup, and poured herself into the music. Now, she's a Metropolitan Opera star with jobs here in New York and San Francisco (likely depending on who pays more). I find this admirable, and it's definitely weighing more in my thoughts than it has previously. I feel more at home in music situations than I do in those that are science-related. I enjoy science, I'm good at it, but I don't think it's where I'm going to be happiest.

Let's hope I'm right.